Day 100: Self-Portrait in the Garden

Day 100: Self-Portrait in the Garden

In keeping with the theme of daring to paint things I’ve never painted before, I went for it and chose to finish out the project with a self-portrait. It was actually really fun and exciting in it’s newness. It’s an odd sensation to look in the mirror and paint yourself painting, I got confused about which one was “real” sometimes.I’ve never painted a self-portrait (that I showed anyone anyways) for my lack of practice and skill in painting the human figure. Like all of the other subjects I am intimidated to paint, I had to let go of thinking it would already be bad (will it look like me? will the drawing be terrible?, etc.) and just go for it. I knew I wanted to paint this as my last painting in the project, so I just did it and now that the initial fear is gone, I want to keep practicing.I know it’s the last day of the project, but it’s hardly the last day of painting for me. In thinking about it I realized that I was sad thinking about the end of the project, thinking that it was somehow the end of me as a painter. I know, it’s really silly, but that’s how I was relating to the whole thing. Instead I see how today is the beginning, the first day of life as a real painter, that this project was my warm-up, my launching pad, my practice for the game that begins now.This morning I decided to go to the National Gallery. I’m in my home town Washington, D.C. visiting family, which is a great way for me to finish out the project. I went to see a show of Spanish painting and sculpture, but I never made it there. On the way to the show I passed the American painting galleries and veered off to look in. These are paintings that I know like the back of my hand, that I’ve visited my whole life. Whistler, Eakins, Sargent, Church, Cole, and more. It’s been awhile since I stopped in to pay a visit, and today I’m so glad I did. Today I saw these paintings with new eyes. Today I saw for the first time that I want to place myself amongst these great painters. I looked at their paintings and saw how they chose their compositions, how they handled the lights and darks, I looked at their brushstrokes or lack of them and their use of color. I followed their thoughts as if each painting were a book to be read. I saw the gap between myself and these painters, but today I saw that this gap can be closed through a life of dedication to painting. I couldn’t have imagined a better way to end the project than with this visit.So today is the beginning, and I feel prepared thanks to your involvement and letting me share this project with you. What’s next is a few things. I’ve decided to keep painting the small paintings to the end of the year, selling each unframed for $100, while working simultaneously on larger paintings. I will keep sharing them with you via a bi-monthly email the 1st and 3rd Monday of each month. I will keep my Blog (although it will no longer be called 100 Paintings 100 Days 100 Dollars) and will update it weekly with finished small paintings, works in progress along with any news and upcoming events.I know this is long, but I just want to take a minute to thank each and every one of you. Thank you for all of your insightful comments, words of encouragement when I was tired or down and for just being engaged with me through the entire process. Through the sharing of my work with you I have been able to give life to what I thought was a dream to be fulfilled someday, but no time soon, of becoming a “real” painter. The real part comes in the sharing of work and dialogue with you, and in return makes me work the best that I can.Thank you, you’re really awesome and I can’t wait to share more adventures in painting with you!You can buy today’s painting by clicking here. You can view all other paintings from the 100 day project here. All paintings from the project are 6×8″, painted on birch, are unframed and cost $100 (+ $15 shipping).You can buy a paintings directly from the website using paypal or by contacting me at kellyaskey@gmail.comYou can share my work with someone by suggesting that they sign-up to receive the Email Newsletter here or by following the Blog at www.kellymedford.blogspot.com.